Thursday, July 12, 2012

Hello

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Hollywood has made billions of dollars producing movies that have been coined, “chic flicks.” The general plot of these movies consists of a girl fretting over a guy who has somehow completely managed to ruin her life and then proceeds to call her girlfriends to have some serious “girl talk” over coffee at Starbucks, with their Coach bags and Prada shoes. I was once dragged to one of these “chic flicks” and found it to be the most insulting thing I had ever seen. We went to see How to Lose a Guy In 10 Days. The movie is about a journalist who agrees to write a firsthand account of all the things women do to drive away men; she has to find a guy, make him fall in love with her, then lose him--all in 10 days. I was actually forced to sit through this movie and watch as Hollywood mocked every fault the male sex possesses. We try our best to please women, though we know it is nearly impossible. Women are too hard on men and extremely picky. I would like society to realize that unlike popular belief, men are not the bad guys.

I could easily rehash every bad date I have ever been on and list two pages of the pointless apologies I have had to give to women throughout the night just to get a simple, “Thank you” at the end. Though, concentrating on the night I spent in the theatre, I realized that our society seems to think it is the men that have been supporting the Kleenex industry, not the women. This could not be more than wrong. I sat in the theatre that night a little chilly, from the cool breeze coming from outside and antsy from having to sit for two hours. The glow of the screen made my eyes burn, as we were sitting two rows from the front. Jolts of pain were shooting down my neck, hitting every vertebra on their way down, from having it cranked back the entire time. I was starving and my stomach was rumbling throughout the movie, wishing I could have some of that yellow, buttery popcorn I had so generously paid for. It seemed to have all been eaten by my very “generous” date. Then, all of a sudden, from behind me I heard a boisterous, “JERK!” The one-syllable word echoed in my hear continuously as I heard monster behind me shouting in a high pitched screech that she did not think it was fair that the girl was kicked out so the guy could play cards with his friends. The man had not seen his friends for the past eight days and had been spending every waking moment with this obsessive, and manipulating girl. Personally, I thought it was perfectly acceptable for him to spend one measly night with his friends. For all she knows, he could have been telling his friends about what a wonderful girl she was, but no, she had to come and ruin it all. The worst thing is that the monster behind me agreed with the actresses. Females are so manipulative because they gang up on men. They all think in the same irrational way and when you forget to call your girlfriend one night, all her friends know the next day and glare at you when you pass them. Then, you have to deal with the silent treatment from your apparent “significant” other, for a harmless mistake. She could have easily called, but was just too stubborn too, so now of course all of the blame is put on the guy’s shoulders. Guys are not commitment shy, they are just terrified of the cruel things that will happen to them if they mess up. Girls are the complicated half, they cause boys hair-pulling agony.

Girls are always complaining about how boys wear their pants, how they do their hair, what cologne scent they are or are not wearing, what music they are listening to and a million other petty things such as these. Perfection is not enough for the girls these days. I could have a brand new shirt on, clean shoes, respectable jeans and think I look just fine. But, no… I forgot the backwards, light blue baseball cap and puka shell necklace, so it is not acceptable. You never hear guys complaining about how a girl is not wearing the right necklace or hair tie. That is because we have respect and are not extremely picky and obnoxious about every little detail. Boys will be boys; we cannot always remember to chew with our mouths closed or open every door. Girls never think that maybe the reason we cannot wait until our food is completely masticated to be able to talk to them, or that maybe we were too busy daydreaming about them to remember to open the door. We are not as bad as girls perceive us to be. Girls are all overly analytical, drama queens who will never be pleased. When I went to pick up the girl to go to the movie her mother sent me into the living room to find her sitting with a container of Midol next to her and a look of utter disgust on her face. I sympathetically asked her what was wrong and she belted out,

“ I got a D on my midterm in Physics; my best friend ditched me earlier to hang out with her other friend, and my pedicure appointment was canceled! I look horrible, I feel horrible and my white pants have a gross green stain on them!”

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So of course my job was to cheer her up- I wanted to run. All I could think about was my friends who were spending the night at a Pistons game, front and center. I was stuck in a poorly designed living room with an empty container of Midol and nothing to look forward to but a horrible movie and a night of complaining and boredom. Girls put too much pressure on guys. They cannot seem to deal with problems on their own. Something as little as a broken nail leads to a tear-filled phone call. It is not fair that guys have all this pressure on their shoulders to cheer girls up if they are down. I do not understand how it is possible to cheer someone up when you do not even understand why she is upset in the first place. Then, if we fail to make them smile, we must not care, were not paying attention when they were balling their eyes out, and we are bad boyfriends. Geez, how could we?

The night spent in the movie theatre watching that awful movie made me realize just how bad guys have it and how often girls take guys for granted. Is it not enough that we are at their beckon call at all hours of the day; sit through horrible chic flicks with them just because we care; console them after a bad day or buy them popcorn? Girls will never be understood, and this is the main reason why Hollywood will continue to produce clich� movies to give the female population something to relate to.



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